What is it with kids in Florida? Last fall a 12-year-old boy in Stuart was arrested for disruptive farting in the classroom. Yesterday a 15-year-old in Lakeland was given a three-day suspension from riding the school bus after the driver accused him of passing gas to make the other kids laugh.
As in the earlier case, the accused attends what Floridians describe as a “last-chance school.” He was kicked out of middle school for fighting.
While The Smoking Gun delicately protected the 12-year-old’s privacy, the Lakeland Ledger has no qualms about identifying yesterday’s culprit as Jonathan Locke Jr.—they even ran his picture on Page 1.
Ledger reporter John Chambliss provides this classic quote:
“It wasn’t even me,” Locke said. “It was a kid whoThat’s what they all say. On the other hand, Junior could be innocent. The Polk County School District is relying entirely on the testimony of the bus driver. And it’s a well-established principle of common law that “he who smelt it, dealt it.”
sits in front of me.”
For sheer bravado in the face of a repressive school administration, we here at First Nerve are proud to nominate Jonathan Locke Jr. for this year’s Edgar Marsalla Award.