Tuesday, March 2, 2010

The FirstNerve BurrOmeter: Spring has Almost Sprung


*Name Drops: 13

Calice Becker
Yann Vasnier
Shyamala Maisondieu
Jacques Cavallier
Daniela Andrier
Jacques Polge
Carlos Benaim
Dominique Ropion
Olivier Polge
Tom Ford
Miuccia Prada
Jean Paul Gaultier
Marc Jacobs
Bonus points:
Perfumers: 9
Designers: 4
French: 9
Multiple Appearance Hat trick: Dominique Ropion 3
Nonsensical fragrance description:
neon fruit: 1
Total BurrOmeter reading for Spring has Almost Sprung: 39 milliburrs

*Names are 11.6% of the entire word count. New record.
Outlook: Approaching the dew point; name drop condensation makes for slippery reading.

9 comments:

Bob Dobalina said...

ugh - think I'm going to hurl. Must have been the neon fruit I ate.

Nathan Branch said...

Burr really loves to mix nature with tech, as in "neon fruit". I think my favorite example of this is when he wrote of Kenzo Amour:

"Amour is an example of rather abstract perfume art, the scent of smelling (metaphorically) a flower on a high-definition television screen, a powdery, electrical, glassy, slightly otherworldly loveliness."

I've since crept up on unsuspecting HD TV's for some surreptitious sniffing, but I've always walked away electrical, glassy free. Though I do have to say, describing a scent as a flower smelled from an HD TV is pretty inventive, yes?

And the Burr-Ometer is back! All that R&D didn't go to waste, after all.

Ed C said...

Am I the only one left wondering what the five'fumes he reviews have to do with spring? None of the descriptions sound much like spring. And Pure Poison is not being launched this spring.

Maybe you could add an inverse continuity measure to the Burrometer.

Avery Gilbert said...

Nathan Branch:

If the scent on the HDTV screen is (even metaphorically) a flower, then how can it be abstract at the same time? Not to reopen the whole "reviewing styles" can of worms, but to me this doesn't seem inventive, just confused.

The FirstNerve technical staff were pleased to fire up the BurrOmeter, but with the bite size reviews they couldn't really redline it. Plus all the French name drops left a sticky coating on the sensor surfaces. It'll take days to vacuum all the Polge particles out of the francophilia filters and swab the Ropion residue off the transthermal rhetorical coils.

Avery Gilbert said...

Ed C:

You were not alone: the spring theme was elusive.

And while the whole two-sentence perfume review is sort of Zen it's also more than a little Mad Hatter.

Here's my take:

Is haiku format
Suited to perfume reviews?
Cherry blossoms wilt.

Avery Gilbert said...

Bob D:

While you're at it you might want to avoid yellow snow, iridescent bologna and roseate women in dark envelopes.

~x~ said...

like most women, i have generally longed to be sheltered in dark envelopes while glowing rose.
times.

+ Q Perfume Blog said...

Burr, Burr, Burr... PURRRRRR

is it a love & hate relationship?
Sado & Maso kind of thing?

I send Burr a bouquet of beautiful springtime blossoms...but you will never know if it is because I LIKE HIM or because I think he needs to learn about spring scents a bit more....

mystery mystery...

99Perfume said...

I personally cannot wait for spring-time to come. I have not seen or come across too many fragrances that have been catching my eye, but im sure a few will pop up unexpectedly.

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