Wednesday, June 30, 2010

Nasal NIMBY of the Month: Allan Tannenbaum

Here at FirstNerve we’ve covered the Nasal NIMBY beat for quite a while. Nasal NIMBYs demand to live a life unsullied by any aroma they find personally offensive. They bitch and moan about features of the smellscape that have been in place forever and taken for granted by everyone else: places like dairy farms, chocolate factories, tanneries, and the bread ovens at Subway.

The typical Nasal NIMBY feels his extremely refined sensibilities outweigh anyone else’s right to conduct a normal business that benefits the entire community. The Nasal NIMBY demands physically impossible or commercially unrealistic “odor remediations” but his ultimate goal is to force the object of his wrath to shut down or move out of town.

Our Nasal NIMBY of the Month® is Allan Tannenbaum, a 65-year-old douche bag in TriBeCa who is unhappy about living near an Indian restaurant. The story is locked away behind Rupert Murdoch’s tight sphincter the subscription barrier at the Wall Street Journal, but Gothamist has the key details.

10 comments:

Ross said...

It would be interesting to know who got there first. Reminds me of when I was in a Navy Recon Squadron in Georgia. The land near the runway ends was cheap so some brilliant entrepreneur decided to build a mobile home park.There was also a SAC base with B-52's. After a few years it grew very large, then they got annoyed with the noise and smell of burnt JP4 jet fuel...figured the base should close down...doh!

Olfacta said...

Good one! I once knew a couple who bought a house in the Irvine, CA area, near the flight path for El Toro, at that time a huge military base. The wife didn't like all those fighter jets so close to her house. "I'm going to call them," she said, "and tell them to stop."

~x~ said...

I own febreze air freshener.
I call it "hippy repellant".
I take advantage of their "chemical sensitivity" when they won't shut up.

Avery Gilbert said...

Ross:

New Jersey spends money building noise baffles near inter-state highways on behalf of people who occupy condos built years after the freeway . . .

After "freedom to farm" we may need "freedom to fly."

Avery Gilbert said...

Olfacta:

Heh.

"Chuck Yeager, you land that jet this minute!"

Avery Gilbert said...

~x~:

You and Cartman.

Better avoid this spot for a few days.

Harald said...

Consider yourself lucky that the MCS'lers don't have you in their crosshairs (yet).

Nathan Branch said...

There was a mom and pop coffee shop I used to frequent that roasted their own beans very early every morning. You could smell that amazing aroma of roasting coffee beans from about two blocks away, but apparently, some people who lived in the neighborhood complained about it regularly.

Which I can't imagine -- kind of like I can't imagine anyone complaining about the smell of bread baking in an oven. Living near such wonderful smells would only make life better, imo.

Avery Gilbert said...

Nathan Branch:

You obviously don't get it. It's not about you--or me or any regular folks--it's all about Allan Tannenbaum who is the only person who matters on Planet Tannenbaum.

Anonymous said...

My girlfriend said, "Kiss me where it stinks!" So I drove her to Jersey.