Friday, July 2, 2010

Rupert’s Sad Clown

Want to get your perfume launch party mentioned in the Wall Street Journal’s “New York” section? Then invite Marshall Heyman from the paper’s Fluff About Town “Heard and Scene” column and be sure to serve him a big, fruity cocktail. He’ll walk up to the hired models in the tableau vivant and ask dynamic, hard-hitting questions like:

What was it like being in a bed with a stranger as waiters passed around plates of ginger Biscotti?
He’ll also bring a photographer so you can see what Dree Hemmingway looks like (she is Ernest’s great-granddaughter and uses her mother’s maiden name in a desperate attempt to be interesting). There’s also a nonentity named Lady Alice St. Clair Erskine (elder daughter of the seventh Earl of Rosslyn) whose parents have hired a very effective publicist.  Feh.

Rupert Murdoch media strategy is apparently to bury the New York Times with heavy coverage of perfume launches and other fluffogenic pseudo-events. His man Marshall Heyman is rapidly establishing himself as the jowly Jack Black of lightweight metro journalism, a “social diarist” if you will. If he doesn’t stammer too badly Heyman could become a twenty-first century Louella Parsons, or maybe even get a gig on ET.


~x~ said...

you're just jealous.
being a stupid award winning author and scientist.

Avery Gilbert said...


OMG you're right. It tears me up inside to know I'll never be in the same rooftop garden with Lady Alice St. Clair Erskine. Time to fill a big tub with Mr. Bubble and just slip quietly beneath the waves.

+ Q Perfume Blog said...

What was that word in English best used to define a person that has no courage to curse others and calls himself X, Mr. Award winning author and scientist and amazing person?
Coward maybe????
And speaking of does a hurt EGO smell?

huge huge kiss darling!

your dearest friend, Simone.

Nathan Branch said...

You know what would be nice? If one of these companies would invite *you* to their fragrance launch parties so that you could ask some questions of the CEO's and the peope who attend.

You'd be the crankiest fluff-reporter ever: "What's that horrible smell and what made you decide to bottle it?"

How do we get you on the invite list? ;)

Avery Gilbert said...

Nathan Branch:

But, dude, who would I wear?

Katie Puckrik said...

"Fluffogenic" is what I aspire to.