Friday, August 13, 2010

The FirstNerve BurrOmeter: Mailing It In

Name Drops: 1

Jean-Claude Ellena
Bonus Points:
Perfumers: 1
French: 1
Jean-Claude Ellena Deluxe Triple Bonus Points®: 3

Nonsensical fragrance descriptions: 3
marvelous filigree of citrus
heated granite
sweet midnight in summer
Calibration factor for micro-mini review format: 10-1

Total BurrOmeter reading for Eau Claire des Merveilles: 0.9 milliburrs

Outlook: Lowest reading ever recorded. The trendline is headed for the microburr range.


~x~ said...

you're *my* little
filigree of citrus
wafting over
heated granite
in the
sweet midnight of summer

it almost works like that
but i'm still chilly

Nukapai said...

Burrometer! It's been a few months since I read your blog properly and I've missed this lovely little development. What fun!

+ Q Perfume Blog said...

Disagree 100% with Mr. Chandler.
No baby breath there my friend...
Unless the baby is getting liters of Coca Cola in his bottle...

Avery Gilbert said...

+ Q Perfume:

The description took me elsewhere:

citrus + milky scent = Orangesicle

(Tart on the outside, creamy on the inside.)

Speaking of which, nice to hear from you again. How's the winter been?

Avery Gilbert said...


We went to great expense to recalibrate the BurrOmeter to measure the new, abbreviated, star-less reviews. But the sample size is getting tinier and tinier--it's now down to 40.8 words per review. And since each perfume is now paired with another in the same brand, it's effectively 20.4 words. Shave off a few more and we'll have to buy an Ono-Sendai 750-nanometer haiku demodulator for the front end.

carmencanada /Grain de Musc said...

My sensors must be on the wrong settings: I failed to pick up any recent Burr activity.
I also think my senses must be on different settings than Mr. Burr's: I wonder whether he and I smelled the same product when I read what he writes on Womanity.
Reducing the word count so drastically makes the exercise seems pointless, doesn't it? He might as well be a beauty editor.

Avery Gilbert said...

carmencanada/Grain de Musc:

"He might as well be a beauty editor."

Ouch! YMTMCOOMN. (*)

*You made the Martini come out of my nose.

+ Q Perfume Blog said...

Winter started in August, temperatures are dropping fast. It is good because I get to wear fragrances that are more complexed and more intense. I am a winter kind of person :-)
City is blooming (which is also strange - seems like the flowers think it is spring already0.
I have many projects coming up.
By the way, send me an e-mail to, so I can reply to you with an e-mail that I have been wanting to send you for a couple of months. some how I can't find your e-mal address :-(
Burr was here in Bra - kind diplomatically sneaked away from me - one wonders why... I am adorable, everybody loves to meet me hahahaha!

Anonymous said...

I really, really miss the more rhapsodic Burr reviews. I guess in between hosting scent dinners for his lucky guests he can't find any more adjectives for JCE... it's a shame!

Avery Gilbert said...


He's clearly not getting paid by the word. Which raises the question: how far can you shrink a review and still be employed as a newspaper's "perfume critic"?

As for JCE, maybe he can redeem all his Deluxe Triple Bonus Points® for a few more adjectives.