Friday, August 13, 2010

The FirstNerve BurrOmeter: Mailing It In


Name Drops: 1

Jean-Claude Ellena
Bonus Points:
Perfumers: 1
French: 1
Jean-Claude Ellena Deluxe Triple Bonus Points®: 3

Nonsensical fragrance descriptions: 3
marvelous filigree of citrus
heated granite
sweet midnight in summer
Calibration factor for micro-mini review format: 10-1

Total BurrOmeter reading for Eau Claire des Merveilles: 0.9 milliburrs

Outlook: Lowest reading ever recorded. The trendline is headed for the microburr range.

10 comments:

~x~ said...

you're *my* little
filigree of citrus
wafting over
heated granite
in the
sweet midnight of summer

it almost works like that
but i'm still chilly

Nukapai said...

Burrometer! It's been a few months since I read your blog properly and I've missed this lovely little development. What fun!

+ Q Perfume Blog said...

Disagree 100% with Mr. Chandler.
No baby breath there my friend...
Unless the baby is getting liters of Coca Cola in his bottle...

Avery Gilbert said...

+ Q Perfume:

The description took me elsewhere:

citrus + milky scent = Orangesicle

(Tart on the outside, creamy on the inside.)

Speaking of which, nice to hear from you again. How's the winter been?

Avery Gilbert said...

Nukapai:

We went to great expense to recalibrate the BurrOmeter to measure the new, abbreviated, star-less reviews. But the sample size is getting tinier and tinier--it's now down to 40.8 words per review. And since each perfume is now paired with another in the same brand, it's effectively 20.4 words. Shave off a few more and we'll have to buy an Ono-Sendai 750-nanometer haiku demodulator for the front end.

carmencanada /Grain de Musc said...

My sensors must be on the wrong settings: I failed to pick up any recent Burr activity.
I also think my senses must be on different settings than Mr. Burr's: I wonder whether he and I smelled the same product when I read what he writes on Womanity.
Reducing the word count so drastically makes the exercise seems pointless, doesn't it? He might as well be a beauty editor.

Avery Gilbert said...

carmencanada/Grain de Musc:

"He might as well be a beauty editor."

Ouch! YMTMCOOMN. (*)

*You made the Martini come out of my nose.

+ Q Perfume Blog said...

Winter started in August, temperatures are dropping fast. It is good because I get to wear fragrances that are more complexed and more intense. I am a winter kind of person :-)
City is blooming (which is also strange - seems like the flowers think it is spring already0.
I have many projects coming up.
By the way, send me an e-mail to simone@maisqueperfume.com, so I can reply to you with an e-mail that I have been wanting to send you for a couple of months. some how I can't find your e-mal address :-(
Burr was here in Bra - kind diplomatically sneaked away from me - one wonders why... I am adorable, everybody loves to meet me hahahaha!

Anonymous said...

I really, really miss the more rhapsodic Burr reviews. I guess in between hosting scent dinners for his lucky guests he can't find any more adjectives for JCE... it's a shame!

Avery Gilbert said...

Anonymous:

He's clearly not getting paid by the word. Which raises the question: how far can you shrink a review and still be employed as a newspaper's "perfume critic"?

As for JCE, maybe he can redeem all his Deluxe Triple Bonus Points® for a few more adjectives.