Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Fart Rage and Old Age



Dan Ivers has the first story at NJ.com:
Police: Teaneck man pulled gun on neighbor for farting

An elderly man was arrested Monday night after a neighbor’s fart allegedly drove him to threaten him with a gun, police said.
The impulse is to criticize 72-year-old Daniel Collins for going all Harry Callahan on his apartment house neighbor. However, FirstNerve readers know that deliberate farting is an effective provocation.

Police say Collins and his 47-year-old neighbor were involved in “an ongoing dispute over noise.” So there could be an element of aggravated farting involved.

Exit question: Why isn’t the alleged victim named in this story? Do journalists have a fart-shield rule?

Meanwhile, a few miles down the Garden State Parkway, some other elderly Old Farts are audibilizing tonight not far from FirstNerve Manor.



70, 67, and 70, respectively.

3 comments:

Olfacta said...

Interesting how Stephen Stills hasn't gone gray just yet!

Avery Gilbert said...

Finally dyed my hair,
it happened just the other day.
It was gettin’ kinda gray,
I coulda said it was just my age.
But I didn’t and I wonder why,
I feel like letting my freak flag fly,
Cause I feel like I owe it to someone.

Olfacta said...

Hahaha! Good one!