Wednesday, June 27, 2012

Fart Rage and Old Age



Dan Ivers has the first story at NJ.com:
Police: Teaneck man pulled gun on neighbor for farting

An elderly man was arrested Monday night after a neighbor’s fart allegedly drove him to threaten him with a gun, police said.
The impulse is to criticize 72-year-old Daniel Collins for going all Harry Callahan on his apartment house neighbor. However, FirstNerve readers know that deliberate farting is an effective provocation.

Police say Collins and his 47-year-old neighbor were involved in “an ongoing dispute over noise.” So there could be an element of aggravated farting involved.

Exit question: Why isn’t the alleged victim named in this story? Do journalists have a fart-shield rule?

Meanwhile, a few miles down the Garden State Parkway, some other elderly Old Farts are audibilizing tonight not far from FirstNerve Manor.



70, 67, and 70, respectively.
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3 comments:

  1. OlfactaJune 28, 2012 at 4:24 AM

    Interesting how Stephen Stills hasn't gone gray just yet!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Avery GilbertJune 28, 2012 at 5:56 PM

    Finally dyed my hair,
    it happened just the other day.
    It was gettin’ kinda gray,
    I coulda said it was just my age.
    But I didn’t and I wonder why,
    I feel like letting my freak flag fly,
    Cause I feel like I owe it to someone.

    ReplyDelete
  3. OlfactaJuly 2, 2012 at 4:33 AM

    Hahaha! Good one!

    ReplyDelete

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