Jury in Parlux vs Jay-Z vs Parlux: A Pox on Both of Youse

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Billie Eilish and the Holy Words

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Make Way for Dionne Warwick

Many in my generation vividly remember Dionne Warwick’s hit songs of the 60s: Walk On By (1964), I Say a Little Prayer (1967), and DoYou Know the Way to San Jose? (1968). The slickly orchestrated pop tunes (by Burt Bacharach and Hal David) were a perfect match to Warwick’s effortless high voice and precise delivery.

So what brings her to mind? Why, a press release from Fragrance Creators Association:

Fragrance Creators Association has announced that DDD3 Inc., owned by entertainer, entrepreneur and philanth­ropist Dionne Warwick, has joined its membership of more than 60 large and small businesses spanning the fragrance supply chain.

My reactions were, in descending order:

“That’s nice, Dionne Warwick is still alive.” (She is 80 years old.)

“What on earth does she have to do with fragrance?”

It turns out she launched a single, self-named perfume back in 1986. Dionne must not have been too memorable—there is no mention of it on Fragrantica.com and only a placeholder on Basenotes. Good luck trying to find a collectible bottle on eBay.

According to the FCA blurb, she plans to relaunch Dionne “in response to popular demand.” Or perhaps to leverage attention from her recent nomination to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Or perhaps to climb out of her 2013 bankruptcy and deal with an epic $7 million owed to the IRS.

DDD3, Inc., the company named in the press release, is not a fragrance house. It appears to be the corporate entity that books her ongoing musical performances. Warwick’s contract rider can be found online. Alas, it contains nothing as outrageous as Van Halen’s no-brown-M&Ms clause. Sure, Ms. Warwick must be flown first class, but most of the rider concerns stage lighting, rehearsal timing, and orchestra staffing (“Three (3) trombones-two (2) tenor & one (1) bass”). Her dressing room requirements are not particularly diva-ish. She prefers Pepsi (“No Coca Cola or Diet Sodas”), Cristal (“Two (2) bottles of Cristal Champagne per concert (NO SUBSTITUTES)” and is very specific about the fruit plate:

Fresh fruit platter: sliced pineapples, green seedless grapes, sliced watermelon, sliced honeydew melon, sliced cantaloupe melon and bananas. If any of the above fresh fruit is not in season, contact road manager.

Ms Warwick is entitled to earn whatever the market will bear and she is certainly playing every card she can as she climbs out of a deep financial hole. What lingers in the mind, however, is why the Fragrance Creators Association sees fit to include her and her company in its membership on the basis of a one-off scent that vanished after launch 35 years ago.

Perfume Platitudes: Paging Crash Davis

 

The first law of fragrance marketing requires that every smellebrity introducing a perfume attest to a personal role in its creation.

The legendary Dolly Parton, now launching her first scent—Dolly: Scent from Above—has complied with tradition and issued the correct formulaic statement:

“I felt like a mad scientist trying to find the right combination, but we did and it took us about two years.”

Regarding her decision to enter the beauty business, she is also quoted as saying:

“I’m going to start with perfume. Everybody has always told me how good I smell.”

Wut? That sounds like an enormous non sequitur. But then we note this on her website:

“The truth is, I have been blending my own scent for years. It’s a combination of bath oils, powders and perfumes that have become my “signature” and is known everywhere I go. It’s time for me to share this with you. I hope you enjoy!”

IFRA? I don’t need no stinkin’ IFRA!

FirstNerve is inclined to award Ms. Parton a honorary Mad Scientist degree for her fearless personal efforts at blending.

Meanwhile Iggy Azalea reaches back to her long-neglected Australian roots (she grew up in Mullumbimby, NSW) in making the de rigueur claim of personal involvement in the creation of her new fragrance: 

Iggy said she was inspired by Australian native flora when concocting the aroma.

Apparently Australian sandalwood is a top note in Devil’s Advocate. [Top note?—Ed.] [Whatev. Just go with the flow.]

Amorphophallus titanum: End of the Grift?

 

In Alameda, California a “local gardener” invited people to an abandoned gas station and let them smell and touch his giant misshapen penis . . . plant. Nothing sketchy about this at all.

Is it just me, or has the pace of stinky “corpse flower” blossomings slowed since the pandemic? We were usually good for several such exhibitions a year at botanical gardens around the county. All that was missing were the tour t-shirts.

Perhaps specimens of giant misshapen penis plant—the literal name according to its Latin binomial, not the consumer-friendly sanitized version—all just “happened” to cease sending up their grotesque, foul-smelling inflorescences at the same time. Or perhaps their owners adjusted lighting and feeding regimes to delay the blessed events until such time as paying throngs are once again able to attend in person. Just saying.

If this cynical conjecture is correct, we should witness an epic outbreak of penis plant erections later this year. (It’ll be the biggest interdimensional crossrip since the Tunguska blast of 1909!—Ed.)

Meanwhile, in a plot twist that sounds like it was ripped from the pages of an upcoming Nick Zollicker story, the Witte Museum in San Antonio plans to fake it till they make it. That is, the museum will present a life-size model of an A. titanum blossom and allow patrons to sample a recreation of its aroma from a “smell station.” Welcome to the Audio-Animatronics® version! It’s the Disneyfication of giant misshapen penis plants.

I expect the San Antonio folks will be getting an earful any day now from the  cartel of botanical garden directors.

Jay Z’s Legal Team Takes It on the Chin

Fragrance industry lawsuits have great entertainment value. They give us a glimpse into the commercial wheeling and dealing that goes on behind the perfume world’s facade of glamor, romance, and sophistication. They expose the gritty, greedy, and unsentimental nature of the business, often along with juicy personal details about the players.

One such legal epic began in January, 2016 when Parlux Fragrances sued Shawn “Jay Z” Carter for $18 million. Parlux alleged that Jay Z had failed to promote the Gold Jay Z fragrance as he was specifically required by the license agreement. The following May, Jay Z denied the Parlux claims and filed a counterclaim of his own, asking for about $2.7 million from Parlux for, among other things, more than a million dollars in unpaid guaranteed minimum royalties.

I covered the initial legal skirmishes here, here, and here. Since then, lawyers for Parlux and Jay Z have battled about boring procedural matters. They also crafted an agreement designed to keep details of the Jay Z license agreement out of public view in court filings.

In May, 2017, Jay Z’s lawyers filed a motion for partial summary judgment. They claimed that by continuing to sell Gold Jay Z, Parlux is making “substantial revenues” and yet has failed to pay Jay Z the guaranteed minimum royalties specified in the license agreement. They asked the judge to find Parlux in breach of contract and to declare that Parlux is liable for the ever-growing pile of guaranteed minimum royalty payments. The Parlux lawyers maintain the company doesn’t owe Jay Z a cent, because the contract became a dead letter when Jay Z himself breached it in the first place by failing to promote Gold Jay Z.

Finally, on February 28, 2018, oral arguments took place at the courthouse at 60 Centre Street in lower Manhattan. Things got off to a crackling start and did not go well for Jay Z’s attorney, Gianni Servodidio. The transcripts, sections of which I provide here, make for great reading. They’re better than any courtroom TV drama.

THE COURT OFFICER: All rise. Part 53, New York County Supreme Court is now in session, the Honorable Charles E. Ramos presiding. Be seated and come to order, please. Turn off all cell phones. There is absolutely no talking in the courtroom while the Judge is on the bench.

THE COURT: Good morning.

MR. SERVODIDIO: Good morning, Your Honor.

MR. VIOLA [Parlux attorney]: Good morning.

MR. LICHTMAN [Jay Z attorney]: Good morning.

THE COURT: All fit and ready to proceed with the motion?

MR. SERVODIDIO: Thank you, Your Honor. Good morning, Your Honor. I am Gianni Servodidio, representing the defendants and the counterclaimants S. Carter Enterprises and Shawn Carter. We’re here on a narrow claim today for partial summary judgment for unpaid royalties due under the parties’ license agreement. This motion can be decided based on the very straightforward and simple contractual principle. Under the —

THE COURT: If it was that simple, you wouldn’t be here. You know that and I know that.

MR. SERVODIDIO: Under the election of —

THE COURT: Let me ask you a question: Look —

MR. SERVODIDIO: Yes, Your Honor.

THE COURT: The plaintiff’s position is that they’re not taking advantage of Jay-Z’s license. They’re just selling the inventory that they have in order to mitigate damages. I’m not sure if it’s in the papers or not; I read most of the file. Have you conducted discovery here to the point that — do we know if they’re still manufacturing and bottling under license or is this, in fact, just inventory that they’re getting rid of?

MR. SERVODIDIO: Your Honor, it’s undisputed that they’re continuing to sell licensed products and have done so —

THE COURT: That is not the question I’m asking. Are they still bottling this stuff?

MR. SERVODIDIO: Your Honor, that’s not relevant to the motion that is before the Court.

THE COURT: You know, when I ask you a question, I expect a direct answer.

MR. SERVODIDIO: Yes, Your Honor.

THE COURT: If you’re not going to answer my questions, you can leave.

MR. SERVODIDIO: No. I’m sorry, Your Honor, there is no discovery that’s been conducted on that issue. And, with respect, that it is not germane to this narrow motion. The issue is whether they terminated the contract. And it’s really simple, Your Honor. They never exercised the termination of the contact. It’s simple how to do it. You have to send a notice of breach, which they did. And then you have to follow up with a second thing, which was an actual notice of termination required under the contract. They never did that. Instead what they did was continued — it’s undisputed that they continued to sell licensed product. We’re going on our third year anniversary of sales of licensed products amounting to millions of dollars. They’ve sent us an affidavit from their president —

There follows a lot of give and take about terms of the contract and relevant court decisions in other cases. Judge Ramos was not in a particularly forgiving mood that day. By the time things wrap up, we can imagine the flop sweat glistening on Mr. Servodidio’s forehead.

MR. SERVODIDIO: . . . And what these cases say clearly is that the mere assertion of a [rescission] claim isn’t enough.

THE COURT: On the other hand, here I have an apparently admittedly breaching party saying this is a slam dunk, please pay me.

MR. SERVODIDIO: Your Honor —

THE COURT: At the very least, at the very least don’t I have to consider that this was a mitigation of damages, the selling off of the inventory, number one; and number two, that your client breached?

MR. SERVODIDIO: Your Honor —

THE COURT: I can’t ignore that.

MR. SERVODIDIO: In every single case that we cite today, Your Honor, there is an allegation that the licensor breached. And in some cases —

THE COURT: Is there a denial here that Mr. Jay-Z didn’t show up?

MR. SERVODIDIO: Absolutely. The claim for breach is absolutely disputed and is the subject of hotly contested discovery right now.

THE COURT: Let me ask a very specific question; if you can’t answer it, don’t answer it, because I know you weren’t there. Did Jay-Z appear in New York as required under the contract?

MR. SERVODIDIO: There’s — there was no personal appearance, Your Honor, and that is the — we have defenses for that under the contract.

THE COURT: Motion denied. Thank you very much.

MR. VIOLA: Thank you, Your Honor.

MR. SERVODIDIO: Thank you, Your Honor.

Ouch. That’s gotta hurt.

Having failed in their pre-emptive counterattack, it looks like Jay Z’s team will now have to deal with the non-performance claims brought against their client by Parlux.

Exit question: Which TV actor should play Gianni Servodidio on the inevitable Netflix docudrama?

Parlux Prez: Jay Z Won’t Give Back Our 18-carat, $20,000 Gold Prototype Bottle

Parlux President Donald Loftus

Parlux Fragrances is suing Shawn “Jay Z” Carter and his company Shawn Carter Enterprises for $18 million for allegedly failing to promote the Gold Jay Z fragrance, and for failing to cooperate in the development and launch of subsequent flanker products in the line. Carter denies the charges and claims that Parlux, in fact, owes him $2.7 million.

New York Commercial Division Judge Charles E. Ramos agreed to let the two sides in this dispute redact whatever they like from documents they file publicly with the court. While keeping proprietary information and certain contract terms under seal is routine in commercial litigation, my understanding is that New York state courts usually require justification for each item placed under seal; they don’t simply grant the parties carte blanche to hide whatever they like. But, hey, Jay Z is super-famous and rules are for the little people.

The upshot is that some documents filed with the court have been redacted in their entirety. Others have certain items blacked out, such as an internet URL. [You mean, like “http://www.firstnerve.com/2016/01/however-in-fragrance-industry-it-is.html”?—Ed.] [Yeah, exactly like that.]

Well, a few tasty tidbits do make it past the litigants’ cone of silence. One is the affidavit of Don Loftus filed by the Parlux attorneys on June 9, 2017. Loftus, the former head of Procter & Gamble’s prestige fragrance division, joined Parlux as its president in 2013, the year after the company made its ill-starred and mind-numbingly complex licensing deal with Jay Z and his various entities.

In his affidavit, Loftus recites the particulars of Jay Z’s alleged non-compliance with the terms of the deal. It’s all good, but our favorite part is item 12 (redaction courtesy of Parlux and/or Jay Z legal team):

Item 12 reads: “In addition, Parlux designed and created a prototype GOLD JAY-Z bottle with an 18-carat gold cap and poured gold exterior at a cost in excess of $20,000 to be used in a promotion. Not only did Jay-Z reject the design, but he kept the bottle and refuses to return it.”

“Let me tell you about the very rich. They
are different from you and me.”

F. Scott Fitzgerald
The Rich Boy, 1926

Pop Quiz: Psycho-Olfactive Sleuthing Contest

Via TheFashionisto

In his capacity as Special Correspondent for Allure’s Daily Beauty Reporter [Well, isn’t that special?—Ed.] Jeffrey Slonim attended last week’s Fragrance Foundation Awards at Lincoln Center. [Wait, they still have those?—Ed.] [Yes. They just don’t call them the FiFi’s any more.]

While covering the momentous event, Slonim asked various celebrities what scents “are most meaningful to them.” He published responses from

Linda Evangelista
Tommy Hilfiger
Alexandra Richards [Who?—Ed.] [Keith’s daughter. Try to keep up.]
Johnny Weir
Anja Rubik
Kiernan Shipka [C’mon, your killing me here.—Ed.] and
Victor Cruz.

Go take a quick look at the quotes. Then, using the clinical skillz you acquired at the Acme School of Olfactory Psychology, tell us in the comments which of the seven celebrities is really not that into smell. Be sure to explain your reasoning.

UPDATE:

So which celeb did you pick?

On Twitter, perfumista Nick Gilbert (no relation) pointed to Tommy Hilfiger, citing his attitude in that BBC perfume documentary. I say interesting choice—weird that Hilfiger remembers the scent that he was wearing when he first made out, but not the girl’s scent. However, he is not my pick.

The correct answer is Kiernan Shipka, the kid who played the kid on Mad Men. Here’s her quote:

“I would say the scents of a couple of different places: My grandma’s house, nostalgic places that I've been to and visit. Certain stores. Or when you walk into a restaurant and recognize the smell. I like the familiarity of walking in and thinking, Oh, I’m here; I know I’m here.”

What’s striking about Shipka’s quote is what’s missing, namely any mention of a specific smell or specific place. Compared with those of the other celebs, her quote is bland and generic; it lacks any feel for fragrance. Of course, maybe she has a lousy publicist or just forgot the talking points supplied to her on the way to the red carpet. But based on the evidence in Allure, my bet is that Shipka is just not that into scent.

Bertie Wooster on the Aroma of the Great Hall

The Grammar School at Market Snodsbury had, I understood, been built somewhere in the year 1416, and, as with so many of these ancient foundations, there still seemed to brood over its Great Hall, where the afternoon's festivities were to take place, not a little of the fug of the centuries. It was the hottest day of the summer, and though somebody had opened a tentative window or two, the atmosphere remained distinctive and individual.

In this hall the youth of Market Snodsbury had been eating its daily lunch for a matter of five hundred years, and the flavour lingered. The air was sort of heavy and languorous, if you know what I mean, with the scent of Young England and boiled beef and carrots.

Aunt Dahlia, who was sitting with a bevy of the local nibs in the second row, sighted me as I entered and waved to me to join her, but I was too smart for that. I wedged myself in among the standees at the back, leaning up against a chap who, from the aroma, might have been a corn chandler or something on that order. The essence of strategy on these occasions is to be as near the door as possible.

P. G. Wodehouse
Right Ho, Jeeves (1922)

Gwyneth Paltrow and the Scent of Fame

Gwyneth Paltrow’s movie career stalled for a while following her 1999 Oscar for Shakespeare in Love. Now she’s back in the money with a role in the Iron Man franchise. But all may not be well. Based on our careful monitoring of the smellebrity scene we predict major life changes in her future. Doubtful? Think back to when Britney and K-Fed made headlines with their noxious B.O.

Paltrow’s recent Vanity Fair kerfuffle has revived attention to some unkind olfactory observations about her personal hygiene habits. By some accounts she was a bit ripe in the armpits at this spring’s Met Gala, allegedly because she rejects AP/deo products that contain aluminum. One view is that the sniffy comments are payback for her undiplomatic remarks about the event. Whatevs. Here at FN we’re just happy to report on a good, old-fashioned case of smellebrity B.O.-mongering.

Exit question:
If Bruce Jenner really is entertaining the idea of becoming a woman, as our reading in the supermarket check-out lane suggests, then shouldn’t there be some olfactory evidence? Perhaps a change in his cologne purchases? Inquiring nostrils want to know.

Armpit Love

It’s been a while since our first tentative sniff at the case of famously stinky teen heartthrob Robert Pattinson. Now he’s back in the news with remarks to the Portuguese magazine Activa, translated here, regarding the olfactory nature of his attraction to women:

“It doesn’t necessarily have to be perfume. I like the smell of people. It is really strange and I’m sure it has to do with pheromones. We like people because subconsciously we like the way they smell. I always find this very interesting to observe.”

OK, that’s a pretty conventional view. But what struck us was this reference to an article in Vogue that we seem to have missed.

In 2012 [Pattinson’s girlfriend at the time] Kristen [Stewart] told Vogue magazine: “I’m so in love with my boyfriend [Robert Pattinson] I love the way he smells. And him me. 

“Like, he loves to lick under my armpits. I don’t get this obsession with washing the smell off. That smell of someone you love – don’t you think that’s the whole point?”

Pit sniffers of the world, unite!



When it comes to underarm odor, RB apparently works both sides of the street. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Unless you’re one of those prudes on a film crew who find him a little overripe. Or you’re some inhibited loser who doesn’t like having your unwashed armpits licked by a guy nominated for Best Actor in a Canadian Film by the Vancouver Film Critics Circle. Really, loosen up. Get a life.

Exit question: Is there a formal term for people who are pathologically attracted to armpit smell?

Bonus question: If not, what should we call them?

UPDATE October 18, 2013

FN Commenter Lindaloo offers “pitophilia.” Not bad: it is easily understood. Some googling around reveals “maschalagnia” as the appropriately arcane and unpronounceable designation for armpit fetish. But maschalagnia strikes me as one of those formalisms that shows up frequently in tedious academic tracts but is rarely used by clinicians or researchers. For example, it is mentioned in about eight volumes on Google Books (including such time-wasters as There’s a Word for It and Lecher’s Lexicon). Meanwhile on PubMed, the go-to source for working scientists, it doesn’t produce a single hit. QED

Mud Wrestling in Federal Court

I was excited when this story broke a couple of weeks back:

Snooki slaps perfume company Excell Brands LLC with $6M-plus lawsuit for using her name without her permission 

The ‘Jersey Shore’ star is raising a stink after the company allegedly sold a scent bearing her name and signature, exactly as they appear on her authentic ‘Snooki’ and ‘Snooki’ Couture products. The perfume, according to the suit, also ‘features a distinctive black-and-white animal print on the box.’

It has all the finest elements of a mudwrestling contest: New Joisey culcha, celebuscents, fragrance knockoffs and a Federal lawsuit. Perfect material for FN’s Business End of the Blotter. So why, you might ask, have I taken so long to serve up the inside scoop? Well, it’s not for lack of trying. Here’s what I found so far:

Excell Brands LLC is a New Jersey corporation founded in 2010 and located in South Plainfield. According to its profile page on Manta.com, the company has seven employees and annual revenue estimated at $750,000. The Cortera.com business directory locates the company in Princeton and estimates it as having one to five employees, and annual sales of less than $500,000. So we are not talking about a large enterprise. But they have lots of perfumes listed on Alibaba.com, the somewhat skeevy e-commerce site in communist China.

And then consider this item for sale on Amazon.com: “Women’s “MY BUTTERFLY PINK” Perfume by Diamond Collection.”



Take a close look at the label; it reads“Our version of Mariah Carey’s Luscious Pink.”



Here’s the Amazon page for Mariah Carey’s Luscious Pink.


And here’s a close-up of the Luscious Pink label.



The use of a logo signature on an “our version of” product is exactly what Ms. Polizzi is objecting to in her lawsuit against Excell Brands. [OK, Sherlock, but My Pink Butterfly is produced by Diamond Collection, not Excell Brands—Ed.] [Keep your pants on.]

The name Diamond Collection was filed as a perfume trademark in April, 2011, by none other than . . . Excell Brands LLC of Princeton, New Jersey. The trademark application was abandoned about a year later. In the meantime, however, Excell Brands registered the perfume names “Ruby Collection,” “Emerald Collection,” and “Diamond Collection Luxurious Fragrance.”

Check Emerald Collection on Amazon and you will find

Golden Rush Perfume an Impression our Version of Gucci Rush by Gucci
Ferrera Perfume For Women, Version Of Carolina Herrera
Very Sensual Perfume, an Impression our Version of Victoria's Secret Very Sexy for Women
Change Blue Cologne/Perfume Impression. A Version of French cologne Bleu de Chanel

and so on and so on. Meanwhile, Ruby Collection features "Our version of Paris Hilton For Women," etc.

The brain trust behind Excell Brands must feel pretty confident that it is not infringing trademarks when it uses a competitor’s name and incorporates similar design features in its packaging. Ms. Polizzi’s claim is that the use of the exact design of her name logo on the Excell Brands product is an infringement, and she may be correct. Whether she can squeeze $6 million out of these down-market knock-off artists is another question.

Here’s where I would usually offer some choice bits from the court filings. But the complaint filed in U.S. District Court for the Southern District of New York has taken a long time to get posted online. And what has been posted is not promising.





D’oh! Spelling matters, people! [Nah, it’s a Jersey thing.—Ed.]

Exit question:Can a corporation refuse service of a lawsuit if the company name is misspelled?

One Direction: All Pink, No Platitudes

Wow, those One Direction guys sure use a lot of product in their hair.

I’m told this UK boy band is s**t hot with American tween girlz. The band’s collective smellebrity scent Our Moment just launched in the UK and heads to the States this fall. The fellows provide some of the usual launch talking points:

“It’s not too strong and it’s quite sweet and subtle, rather than it being a bit more in your face,” [band member Liam] Payne told WWD of the scent.

Noticeably missing are the strenuous assertions that the smellebrities themselves were involved in every facet of the project, smelled dozens of mods, worked with the perfumers, yadda yadda. Instead, we get this:

Given that there were five opinions involved in the creation of Our Journey [sic], the band insists it was a dispute-free project. “We kind of just agreed on it,” said Tomlinson. “We’re all, like, into the same sort of thing. It was actually easy in that respect. The people we were working with were a great help. They were, like, making really good stuff, and we were, like, ‘That’s great!’ They gave us what we wanted.”

Such easy clients. And why not? According to WWD, “industry sources said they expect [Our Moment] to make $120 million in first-year retail sales.” Let’s say net sales to the manufacturer (after cost of goods, marketing, shipping, etc.) are $30 million and the band gets a 7% royalty. Divided five ways, each band member gets $420,000. Not a huge payday, but surely enough to mouth a few of the usual pieties, no?

 

The kitsch factor in the Our Journey packaging is off the charts. Then again it’s probably on target for the group’s demographic. Can’t you see it covered in glossy, candy-flavored, super-moisturing, lip imprints from the owner?

And check out the launch event on YouTube: it screams semi-ironic distance. Again, probably just what the demo expects.

I see they were pouring non-vintage Canard-Duchêne Brut Champagne. (On sale at £19.00!)

. . . a clean, easily accessible style . . . and a fine mousse.

Exactly!

Meanwhile, this tidbit from WWD hints that Our Moment had something other than a carefree development process:

The license for the scent is owned by Eden Parfums, which is a subsidiary of Imperial Pharmaceutical Group and owned by chief executive officer Nayan Thakrar. Eden purchased the license from Olivann Beauty, a division of Fusion Brand Inc.’s luxury fashion division, in February this year, along with all the assets that had been developed before the sale.

Hmmm . . .

Today’s Trash, Tomorrow’s Nostalgia?

Talk about your buried lede: here’s the penultimate sentence from a long fluffy puffy piece on celebrity fragrance in the UK’s Sunday Express:

An impressive 73 celebrity scents were launched last year . . .

Jumping Jiminy. That’s a new smellebrity perfume every five days.

Express writer Georgia Gould credits Elizabeth Taylor for making possible the smash perfume hits by Alesha Dixon [Who?—Ed.] [Alesha D-i-x-o-n. The one who become a judge on the seventh series of Strictly Come Dancing in 2009. Duh.] and Coleen Rooney. [Who?—Ed.] [Uh . . . haven’t the foggiest.]

Gould also captured this insightful quote:

“Celebrities must be at the peak of their popularity when launching a fragrance,” says Shelly Smyth of beauty distributors SAS & Company, which is behind One Direction’s [Who?—Ed.] [Zip it.] imminent (and currently top secret) launch. 

Then there is this gem:

“Fans are always the first to purchase a fragrance as it allows them to feel closer to their idol.”

There’s an all-purpose sentence! Substitute any noun for “fragrance” and it remains true. Try it yourself : “bubble gum card,” “key chain,” “mouse pad,” “temporary tattoo,” “novelty underwear.”

This is where industrialized celebuscents have taken us. But there’s a bright side. Perhaps someone, fifty years from now, will take as much nostalgic pleasure in an empty bottle of Alesha Dixon as I take in my 1964 Boog Powell trading card.

Nah.

Celebuscent Train Wreck of the Month: Selena Gomez Knee-Deep in Lawsuits

Selena Gomez has countersued the fragrance company licensed to produce her celebuscent. Honestly, folks, you could see this one coming a mile away. In fact, I did and I wrote about it fourteen months ago:

So to recap: What do Adam Levine and Selena Gomez have in common? They’ve licensed their celebuscents to an under-capitalized company with slim revenues that may not be able to stay in business long enough to market their products successfully.

The U-CC under discussion was Adrenalina Inc., and the sorry state of its affairs was obvious to anyone who took the time to read the company’s most recent SEC filing.

Evidently Selena Gomez’s agent or business manager couldn’t be bothered to check it out. So . . . she signs a deal, she quits the deal, Adrenalina sues her, and now she sues them back.

So many celebs. So much perfume. So many lawyers.

Weekend Update: Perfumania/Parlux Hires Legit Exec, Jay-Z Gets Richer

Donald J. Loftus

According to a press release on Friday, Donald J. Loftus has been hired as president of Parlux Ltd. and executive vice president of Perfumania Inc. Parlux, of course, produces high-profile celebrity scents by Paris Hilton, Jessica Simpson, Rihanna and a slew of others.

Loftus brings a wealth of experience to the company and is one of the most respected executives in the beauty industry. Most recently, Loftus was the North American President and CEO of P&G Prestige, a position he held for over ten years. Prior to P&G Prestige, he held positions at Cosmopolitan Cosmetics, Escada Beaute, YSL Beauté and also served as Divisional VP at May Department stores. Loftus is a former Chairman of the Board for The Fragrance Foundation and the current Chairman of Fashion Group International.

Let’s hope the hiring of a credible outsider like Loftus will put an end to such embarrassments as last November’s imbecilic Parlux press release for the new Rihanna fragrance.

Speaking of outsiders and insiders, this is a great time to revisit that tangled knot of cross-holdings, family trusts, and related-party sales that constitute the saga of Perfumania and Parlux Fragrances. The last time we checked in, the former was looking to acquire the latter. That deal closed on April 18, 2012, and Parlux (the perfume manufacturer) is now part of Perfumania Inc. (the perfume retailer).

The upshot, as disclosed in a proxy statement for its January 10, 2013 annual shareholders meeting, is that Glenn Nussdorf, Stephen Nussdorf and their sister, Arlene Nussdorf collectively are the beneficial owners of approximately 55% of Perfumania Holdings Inc. The astonishingly unGoogle-able Rene Garcia and certain family trusts and affiliated companies of Rene Garcia own another 24%. In addition, rap mogul Jay-Z, a.k.a. Shawn C. Carter and S. Carter Enterprises, LLC, (a company he controls), own another 11%.

In other words, 90% of the company’s shares are controlled by five people. [Still feel like buying in?—Ed.] [No thanks.]

Perfumania’s various SEC disclosures are a wonder to behold. Here’s one gem:

Glenn, Stephen and Arlene Nussdorf own GSN Trucking, Inc. which provides general transportation and freight services. The Company periodically utilizes GSN to transport both inbound purchases of merchandise and outbound shipments to wholesale customers.

Here’s another: six estate trusts established by the three Nussdorf siblings hold promissory notes from the company worth $85.4 million, while brothers Glenn and Stephen hold another note worth $5 million (it is currently in default, which triggers a higher interest rate). These loans can only be repayed after the company pays off a $225 million line of revolving credit. [Sure you don’t want to invest?—Ed.] [Yes, really sure.]


Capitalist Jay-Z Visiting Communist Hell-hole

Finally, let’s review how Jay-Z got his 11% stake in Perfumania. Two years ago he, along with the cryptic Rene Garcia, created Artistic Brands Development LLC. ABD obtained rights to license fragrances from Rihanna, Kanye West, and Shawn “Jay-Z” Carter himself. ABD then sublicensed the rights to Parlux, in return for warrants to 8 million shares of Parlux. Easy peasy.

A year later, with its acquisition of Parlux on the horizon, Perfumania agreed to give ABD 300,000 Perfumania shares “as consideration for certain licensing transactions contemplated” as part of the merger. Those shares went to ABD’s designee Shawn Cater when the deal closed on April 18, 2012. Easier peasy.

On that same day another deal kicked in: Perfumania issued warrants for 1,599,999 shares to ABD at an $8 strike price. It turns out that ABD owed unpaid guaranteed minimum royalties to its licensees (among them presumably Shawn Carter). As part of this new deal, Perfumania obtained the sublicense rights (that used to belong to Parlux), in return for assuming ABD’s outstanding royalty obligations. (Cash for Jay-Z. Sweet!) Plus ABD and the opaque Garcia Group received warrants for 3,199,972 shares of Perfumania. (More shares for Jay-Z. Sweeter!)

At Friday’s closing price of $5.35 a share, Jay-Z’s 1,919,784 shares of Perfumania are worth $10,270,844.

I couldn’t name a single tune of his, but I admire his talent.

The Prince and the Plaintiff

Prince is probably a little less rich than he was a few days ago. After being sued in 2008 by the licensee of his unsuccessful fragrance 3121, the purple one stiffed his attorney, failed to show up in court, and was eventually slapped with a default judgment and $3.9 million in damages after a New York judge accepted the findings of a court-appointed referee.

That’s where “fraudulent inducement and tortious interference with contract” gets you.

Facing the loss of some serious coin, Prince appears to have pulled it together and appealed that judgment. Court papers filed last Wednesday indicate that he and the plaintiff, Revelations Perfume, have now settled out of court. Universal Music, also named in the suit, appears to be part of the settlement. Bloomberg’s Chris Dolmetsch reports that while attorneys confirm the case is settled, they are not willing to disclose the terms.

Social Media as Performance Art

Erving Goffman is rightly famous for his analysis of social behavior as a species of performance. I wonder what he would have thought of today’s online social media, where the “self” being presented exists only in cyberspace.

I guess it’s not too surprising that “real” fictional characters like Austin Powers and Norman Bates have favorited and replied to tweets of mine. Who knows whether it’s a fanboy or a commercial enterprise behind the effort.

Today, however, things got weird:

@scienceofscent I DESERVE THAT MONEY!!!!!!!

— Smelly old guy (@SmellyOldGuy) February 20, 2013

What the hell? I’m getting yelled at because I tweeted a news story?

Not exactly. @SmellyOldGuy (tagline “Hey! Get out of my hair”) is a cranky cyber-persona created for the sole purpose of yelling at people who tweet about smelly old guys.

He may not be real, but I already kind of like him.

Perfume Brands Prefer Spokesbeards

My first thought on reading that YSL has selected Garrett Hedlund as its new spokesface:

Who the hell is Garrett Hedlund?

My second thought:

What’s with the facial hair on male smellebrities?

Third thought:

Could all those academic psychologists be onto something?

4th:

Maybe I should stop shaving.

Final:

Naaah.

Perfume Platitudes: When Smellebrities Speak

Crash Davis: It’s time to work on your interviews.

Ebby Calvin “Nuke” LaLoosh: My interviews? What do I gotta do?

Davis: You’re gonna have to learn your clichés. You’re gonna have to study them, you’re gonna have to know them. They’re your friends. Write this down: “We gotta play it one day at a time.”

LaLoosh: Got to play . . . It’s pretty boring.

Davis: ‘Course it’s boring, that’s the point. Write it down.

LaLoosh: One . . . day . . . at a . . . time.

Davis: “I’m just happy to be here. Hope I can help the ball club.” I know, write it down. “I just wanna give it my best shot, and the good Lord willing, things will work out.

Nicole Richie 2012

“This scent is something that I am truly proud of and something that I myself love to wear. I was very closely involved in the creation of Nicole and took a hands-on approach with its development, helping with everything from the notes that are featured to the packaging and the products’ design,” Nicole revealed.

Peter Andre 2010

“I will be traveling around the country doing perfume signings and meeting my fans. I can’t wait to hear what they think. I hope people enjoy this fragrance as much as I enjoyed developing it for them.”

Heidi Klum 2011

“Working for a long time on developing a signature scent and watching it finally come to life is so exciting,” Klum said in a statement. “I never thought my nose would recover from sniffing so many scent combinations but it is all worth it.”

Jordin Sparks 2010

[Jordin] Sparks, an avid fan of fragrances, was highly involved in the development of her signature scent to ensure that it would be unique and represent her young and vibrant personality and embrace her creative force.

Kate Moss 2010

While some celebrities might simply lend their name to signature fragrances, Kate Moss was involved in every process of the development of her latest scent - Vintage Muse - as these exclusive pics illustrate. 

“Being a part of the creative process inspired me to develop Vintage Muse, a gorgeously chic, refined fragrance that lifts and inspires.”

Taylor Swift 2011

Taylor Swift has released a new video showing her behind the scenes involvement during the creation of her first fragrance, Wonderstruck. 

Swift got her hands (and her nose) dirty by being so intimately involved in the process, as the video shows her sniffing samples and offering her approval, simply by the look on her face. You can tell which notes she likes and dislikes via her facial expressions after she takes a whiff. Swift was clearly engaged by the process of creating her own perfume.

“We just gotta smell it one blotter at a time.”