From the Curator’s Closet: Weekend Quick Sniffs

Another fastidiously curated collection of smelly links for your amusement.

The ladies have had these for years. Now Schick is launching an Xtreme3 razor for men with a scented plastic handle.

[Brand manager] Ms. Nagaraj of Schick said that, for young users, “the scent provides an additional linkage with this razor that strengthens their bond with it.” She added, “Scent is so evocative, and as they grow older we want this scent to be kind of another anchor that’s in their brain for this razor.”

An anchor in my brain? To help me bond with my razor? Really?

USB USMELLSOFINE. We’ve been hearing about these for years. Now a major manufacturer puts them on the market. And yes, it’s for real.

Nanotechnology it’s not. New scent generator sounds like DigiScents without a working prototype. True, this one is getting unveiled in Angewandte Chemie instead of Wired.

Another day, another Corpse Flower Giant Misshapen Penis Plant. This time at UConn Storrs. BTW can someone help Mr. Rick Buell of New London get a life?

“I’ve missed it a few times and I was determined to get here for it this time,” said Rick Buell of New London, who’d been checking with UConn greenhouse officials for weeks about the anticipated bloom, and posed for pictures in front of the plant Friday wearing a shirt with an image of a Titan Arum on the front.

New Fujitsu cell phone 4ChineseGirlz has a “scent chip” by which they mean a chip you spray your scent on. How do you say “lame” in Mandarin?

À la recherche du anosmie perdu. Molly Birnbaum gives away the gist of her book for free in the Times and the Post.

Thursday Night Briefs

Another Corpse Flower blossoms, exciting villagers in St. Austell, Cornwall, Middleofnowhereshire, England. A “rare event”? Well, maybe as rare as Barbra Streisand farewell concerts.

Olfactory memories of high school. Ah, good times, good times . . .

We brought up the late Leslie Nielsen in comments recently, to mention his love of fart jokes. But he may have taken it a little too far. [For real?—Ed.]

We met Jenny Tillotson in NYC the other day and were impressed. She’s working on biosensors and scent-releasing microtechnology engineered into the fabric of clothes. Neato!

Quick Sniffs: Oudh, Odd & Ozoned

Uh oh. Oudh’s disappearing.

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A high school junior? Yikes! First there was CK’s “junkie chic”, then this, then this. Is the fashion business just sick in the head or what? (I know, I know, it’s provocative, daringly transgressive, yadda yadda.)

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“I’m certainly aware that there are a lot of people who don’t like the smell of marijuana and I’m sorry for the folks that have to put up with a smell that they don’t like. However, calling the cops to try and prosecute a bad smell is a poor use of law enforcement resources,” Webb said.

That is former Cannabis Information Resource Director Martin Webb. He’s in for a rude awakening if California’s Prop. 19 passes next Tuesday. The legal assault by the anti-freedom smell-o-phobes and Nasal NIMBYs will be fast and furious.

On the bright side, it should make for a fun round of “When Worlds Collide.” Join the party in the northwest belfry and don’t forget the Jiffy Pop.

Quick Sniffs

Speaking of Nasal NIMBYs, isn’t there a legal phrase in Latin that means “law firm of insufferable, overbearing douchebags”?

Someone’s taken the trouble of rating the “Top 5 Gassiest Dog Breeds.” No surprises—bulldogs and boxers both make the list—but I wish there was some data behind the rankings. [Via Tracey Beckerman.]

Is it the economy? Retail perfume theft is back in the news. Plus another big heist in Florida.

Do you have £35 burning a hole in your pocket? Then you can buy a scratch-and-sniff poster that “smells like the moon.” Hey, Buzz Aldrin, pull my finger!

And this exhibit of scented artwork sounds like fun.

Added October 16, 2010:

A new biography of Coco Chanel explores the business side of her success in fashion and fragrance.

Quick Sniffs: Going Buggy in More Ways than One

While on the road earlier this month I missed this story about a workplace shooting rampage in Philadelphia. According to the Philadelphia Daily News, the female shooter was preoccupied with various olfactory complaints. Check out the whole weird story.

With the midterms looming on November 2 we’re deep into election season. So it’s a great time for stinky political stories. Gawker gives an apocalyptic Mars Invades spin to what’s become an annual Mid-Atlantic news item: Stink Bugs About to Overtake Washington, DC on ‘Biblical’ Level." Gawker commenter Don_Is provides the fragrance description:

Oh, and for those of you who haven’t had the pleasure: if you frighten, maim or kill them, they stink. They smell like a cross between cilantro, skunk, burning rubber, and a really peaty, lowland Scotch. Disgusting and pleasant at the same time.

Hey, Don! There’s a large daily in New York that needs an energetic new voice to replace their perfume critic who has apparently run out of review stars. Shoot ‘em a resume, dude.

[Hat tip to reader Barbara Herman, aka Perfumaniac.]

Meanwhile in New York, Carl Paladino, the rough-and-tumble multimillionaire real estate magnate from Buffalo, beat Rick Lazio, the blasé, entitled frontrunner in the Republican primary for governor. Now Paladino takes on entitled New York State Attorney General and all-around nasty piece of work Andrew Cuomo in the general election. It should be fun—Paladino has already hatched a brilliant piece of scent marketing—a garbage-scented campaign mailer headlined “Something STINKS in Albany”.

Some dweeb in the NYT said it smelled like “rotting vegetables”. FirstNerve requested a copy of the mailer from the Paladino campaign to judge the olfactory quality for ourselves. So far no response. Bummer.

Speaking of violent, delusional people with olfactory issues, let’s not forget Iranian dictator Mahmoud Ahmadinejad who wore the same shirt and jacket for six straight days while visiting the UN. Not to mention leaving six floors of the Hilton reeking of specially-delivered koobideh and lamb kebabs. (A tyrant can’t do room service when half his country wants him dead.)

Finally, a pitch-perfect send up by Martin Robbins of how news websites report on scientific papers. He nails it all—from the weaselly way reporters evade taking a point of view, to their lazy failure to link or even cite the location of the new paper.

Here’s an example of just the sort thing Robbins lampoons: a post-load of pabulum by The Washington Post’s Melissa Bell, ostensibly about a new smell study by Tim Jacob. Brief sound-bite by the scientist? Check. Self-justifying link to the BBC? Check. Failure to cite where the study is published or available? Check. Padded with inane facts gathered by Googling? Check. A picture, “because our search engine optimisation experts have determined that humans are incapable of reading more than 400 words without one”? Check.

Yawn.

If you like your smell science reportage with a little more bite and flavah (not to mention direct links to the original source whenever possible), grab yourself a FirstNerve RSS feed. It’s free!

Mystery of Musk: Skin Impressions

It’s been a hot, miserable, steamy week here in New Jersey and testing perfumes on sweaty skin is pointless. The weather finally eased up enough to let me evaluate all eleven submissions—two per forearm. Sorry this took so long.

I’m always astonished at how different a scent can smell on blotter versus on skin—my skin at least. I have what French perfumers bluntly call “bad skin”; it doesn’t reflect back what they regards as the formula’s true impression.

Tough beans. It’s what I’ve got so I’m going with it. Here are my on-skin impressions arranged in the same batting order as the blotter impressions:

Adam Gottschalk – Lord’s Jester / Dionysus

Fresh: Initially chocolaty
Drydown: A vinyl-like note sticks out

Alexandra Balahoutis – Strange Invisible Perfumes / Temple of Musk

Fresh: Burst of grapefruit which vanishes quickly
Drydown: Residual is a soft santal note.

Ambrosia Jones – Perfume by Nature / Craving

Fresh: Sweet & fruity; like a dessert wine
Drydown: Candy-like

Anya McCoy – Anya’s Garden Perfumes / Kewdra

Fresh: Musky, white chocolate.
Drydown: Powdery, sweet.

Charna Ethier – Providence Perfumes / Musk Nouveau

Fresh: Warm, patchouli-incense.
Drydown: Similar; good staying power.

Dawn Spencer Hurwitz – DSH Perfumes / Musk eau natural

Fresh: Briefly green
Drydown: Brown spices; clove-like.

Elise Pearlstine – Belly Flower Perfumes / Verdigris

Fresh: Sweet, honey-like.
Drydown: Similar.

Jane Cate – A Wing and a Prayer Perfumes / Tallulah B.

Fresh: Warm, spicy.
Drydown: Faint.

JoAnne Bassett – JoAnne Bassett Perfumes / Sensual Embrace

Fresh: Very green
Drydown: Green gives way to a pleasant balsamic impression

Lisa Fong – Artemisia Perfume / Drifting Sparks

Fresh: Singular soapy impression; reminiscent of Cashmere Bouquet
Drydown: Same; good staying power; linear.

Nicholas Jennings – Sharini Parfums Naturels / Graines de Paradis

Fresh: Softly herbal; indistinct.
Drydown: Soft

Skin vs Blotter: Some submissions gave consistent impressions on blotter and skin. Charna Ethier’s Musk Nouveau was warm and incense-like in both tests. It was also relatively linear, i.e., it kept the same impression from fresh to drydown.

Other submissions remained true to their blotter impressions, but with a twist. For example, Adam’s Gottschalk’s Dionysus retained a chocolate-like fresh impression in both, but on my skin developed an odd note that dominated the drydown. In Alexandra Balahoutis’ Temple of Musk, what smelled like distinct vine-like green and lemon notes on blotter produced a nice grapefruit impression on skin. (Now I get it!)

The unusual fresh blotter impression of JoAnne Bassett’s Sensual Embrace (“sharp, effervescent Play-Doh”) was replaced on skin by a green note. Skin and blotter both dried down to a warm, balsamic impression. The lovely sweet floral note of Lisa Fong’s Drifting Sparks on the fresh blotter were lost on my skin; it went straight to a soapy impression that dominated the drydown as well. Likewise, the spicy astringency of Nicholas Jennings’ Graines de Paradis so evident on blotter was swallowed up entirely on my skin. (Of course your mileage may vary . . .)

Differences between skin and blotter are not unique to the all-natural ingredients of this design competition; they are a constant issue in commercial, synthetic-included perfumery as well. Perfumes are composed on blotter and tested on skin; sometimes the differing outcomes are not easily explained. It’s why we do a lot of consumer testing before submitting something to a client.

Musk as a Design Theme: I’ve already admitted that I’m not the best judge of musk. (I can’t smell truffles, so I never pay for them!) With a couple of exceptions, most of the submissions stayed within plausible distance of a musk theme. For the Guild’s next competition, I’d suggest going with a wearer-relevant theme: “something light for summer” or “a sensual winter’s night.”

I’d also suggest a smaller competition. Eleven perfumes is a lot of territory to cover blogging-wise (pant, pant); and it’s probably asking a lot of readers to follow all eleven on ten different blogs.

Quick Sniffs

[photo by Rodrigo Argenton]

If you’re a weenie who wears a bicycle helmet then this may strike you as a good idea.

Once the ginkgophobes in your town have annihilated all the female trees, you could suggest they plant these.

Here's a story that combines two of my favorite topics: perfume and animal behavior.

Feel ripped off the twelve blank (but scented) pages in the recent Mono.Kultur? Then try the new issue of Sactown—it has content plus orange flavor!

Quick Sniffs:A Fragrant Folio

Down in Florida, Chaucer’s lyric has been updated: “Sumer is icumen in, lhude stinke algae.”

Meanwhile, further down the peninsula, a mystery smell (“pot or not?”) gets its own FB page.

Hunters are the most BO-phobic folks in America and they spend a lot of money to smell like . . . nothing. Until now.

Sure, this is edgy, provocative, yadda yadda, but personally I’m looking forward to the launch of Sphincter.

The cuisine rapide industry weighs in on the slider-scented candle campaign.

What the hell’s going on in British public housing? First this, now this. 

Many moons ago I saw Donald Trump air kiss Estée Lauder at the Palm Court in the Plaza Hotel. Now he’s hosting this exchange. Sic transit gloria mundi.

Quick Sniffs

Perfume continues to make the crime blotter.

Related: Are you sure that truffle is genuine?

White burgundy gone bad? Blame global warming!

The English are justifiably pissed off about public urination, but this idea smacks of desperation.  

Speaking of malodorous urine, I took a leak at Nordstrom in the Short Hills Mall this week. (In the men’s room, thank you very much.) The brand-new waterless urinals stank. This particular green inspiration leaves a lot to be desired. And it only impacts men: isn’t that sexual discrimination? Just askin’ . . .

Six million hits and climbing: signs of life in fragrance marketing?

Quick Sniffs

Perfume: the perfect gangsta gift for Mother’s Day.

Budget crisis? What budget crisis? They’ve found a $1.1 million cure for the Gnarley Fart Bomb of Orange County. And up in Tulare they’ve installed 26 foggers to spray odor-neutralizer over an outdoor wastewater plant.

A USAToday piece on haunted hotels quotes a guest at the Crescent Hotel in Eureka Springs, Arkansas who was alternately suffocated and pulled about one night by a evil-smelling phantasm. The olfactively paranormal holds some interest for us, but this could become a convenient excuse for front desk clerks all across the country. “A bad smell in 207? Lucky you! That was our famous ghost.”

On the other hand, there’s this police blotter item from the Nevada County, California sheriff’s office:

6:04 p.m. — A woman from the 10000 block of School Street reported hearing 14 instances of knocking under the floorboards of her mobile home. This had been going on for months and sometimes she knocks and yells back. She also believes someone is getting in her home when she's not there and is using her soap and towels. She wears headphones to block out the noise and keeps a loaded gun in the house. She also sometimes smells a foul odor coming from under the floorboards and requested documentation.

Boo!

New Jersey, the Moron State:

Ten search warrants were executed over a five-day period in Middlesex, Monmouth and Ocean counties, leading to the arrests and the seizure of an array of indoor cultivation equipment, 3,370 marijuana plants, 115 pounds of harvested marijuana and $65,000 in cash, according to a press release from the New Jersey State Police.

What gave it away? The smell of burning marijuana.

Officers discovered the smoke seeping from the chimney at 558 Spotswood-Englishtown Road. After knocking on the door, they were faced with what police describe as “overpowering evidence” that renter Thu N. Nguyen, 44, a Vietnamese national with Canadian citizenship, had been burning the unusable parts of marijuana plants in the home’s fireplace, according to the press release.

Burning? What was he thinking? He probably didn’t buy any carbon offsets, either.
Exit question: How many environmentalists does it take to compost 3,370 pot plants?

Quick Sniffs

Is perfume like beef, pork, milk and eggs? That’s what Yale Hollander asks as he sizes up the Fragrance Foundation’s late entry into cooperative marketing.

You’ve tried all the flavored vodkas and you’re sick of icky appletinis. Where do you turn? To California, of course, where artisan distiller Lance Winters is collecting plant material to flavor a new gin: “a Joaquin Miller blend that would evoke the bay laurel, cedar and fennel found in the Oakland hills.”

Make a note, Taj. Celebrity fragrance mania sets a new low: Van Wilder is the new Hugo Boss.

Hide the children—it’s a not safe for Father’s Day fragrance. Then again, Heather’s two mommies might like it too.

Quick Sniffs

Unilever gets a Facebook full of grief. Consumers don’t like it when you screw around with an iconic brand fragrance. 

This story stinks in so many ways.

Are scent detection dogs the answer to everything? Sometimes it seems that way.

Neil Pendock’s inner Perfume Head is now completely off the leash.

Quick Sniffs

Fragrance fight!

John Derbyshire’s sophisticated nostrils twitch with eldritch delight at the thought of an H.P. Lovecraft perfume. 

Mark Ecko . . . new fragrance . . . yadda yadda.

Quick Sniffs

Even cooler if true: a scented Jean-Paul Gautier USB drive.

Finally! Cornell students invent a fart detector.

Holiday Inn lobbies and corridors go scented.

Sandra B. steps on Chandler B.’s turf.

Philip Galanes hoses people who might suffer from a metabolic disorder.

And Kim Kardashian is . . . well, write your own punch line.

Quick Sniffs

The FDA weighs in on Zicam and smell loss.

BK brings Flame to England. We published a sneak preview here.

Oversexed robots of the future hate human BO.