Saturday, November 21, 2009

C-list Celebrity Stamps Feet, Demands Own Fragrance

Nothing like whining to get your way if you’re a four-year-old—or a C-list celebrity with an overweening sense of entitlement.Take the case of Gerard Butler.

Who’s that, you say? You know—the guy in Nim’s Island.

No, not Fantasy Island. Gerard Butler! He was huge in P.S. I Love You

Didn’t see it? Well, he was Yasha in The Cherry Orchard.

Hey, stay awake, I’m talking to you. He was King Leonidas in 300. OK. Yeah, great movie. The guy has awesome pecs and looks excellent in half-animation.

Okay, so Gerard Butler wants his own fragrance so badly he’s bitching about it on BBC radio.
“I need a perfume. I need to tell my publicist to get on that. He’s not got me any worthwhile branding. Clive Owen has his aftershave, Ewan McGregor has cologne. What do I have? Nothing. I don’t know what it would be like, but I need one.”
Waaaaaaaaah! I want my fragrance and I want it NOW.

Exit question: Does Mr. Butler belong in the Pantheon of Pop Perfume alongside the likes of Messrs. Owen and McGregor? Talk to me people.


Nathan Branch said...

Okay, first of all, hilarious listing of Mr. Butler's crowning failures. I didn't see "P.S. I Love You" but I did manage to catch "Dear Frankie" and it was schmaltzy beyond belief.

Secondly, he "needs" a perfume and he's been telling hs publicist to "get on that"? Crikey. This is exactly why most celebrity fragrances are so bad. They just want their name on a bottle to satisfy the ego-driven notion that their fame is large enough to warrant a product launch: "See? I have a cologne. I'm bigger than you are, so sod off!"

Ay yi yi.

And no, (IMO) Butler isn't yet in the same league as Owen and McGregor, but I didn't even realize Owen and McGregor had fragrances, so . . . huh. There it is.

Avery Gilbert said...

Nathan Branch:

So instead of a celebrity fragrance becoming your fashion accessory, fragrance has become an accessory to celebrity.

I think there's a game show in all this: "So You Think You Need a Fragrance?"

Eliza said...

Aww that's a shame (not about Gerard Butler - indeed, I'm not really sure who he is). Both Owen and McGregor come across as proper actor types. I guess everyone has their price?

My evaluation instructor would be pleased with the 'coherence' of the Lancôme/Owen brand though - it looks like they might have fashioned the bottle after his nose.

Avery Gilbert said...


Hmmm, now that you mention it . . . I'm seeing nasal profiles on every facet of the flacon. And Owen's nose itself is multifaceted. Trippy! Do you think the brand name HYPNÔSE implies a bilingual nasal pun?

Unknown said...

Ah, c'mon, he was being funny. At least I prefer to think he was poking fun at the spreading stain of celebrity fragrances. There aren't enough of us to blow off a possible new member of the club.

Avery Gilbert said...

Ed C:

Hmmm . . . on your hypothesis Butler was being ironic and I'm humor-impaired. Or maybe I was being humorous and you're irony-impaired. Confusing. At any rate, agree it would be a nice change to see celebs turn their noses up at perfume deals. Or better yet start dissing each other's fragrances. I can see it now: Kanye talking trash about 50 Cent's top note accord . . . a full-blown hip-hop spritz-off.

Unknown said...


Great idea. 'fumes instead of bullets. and imagine a future music or Academy Awards ceremony where each winner flooded the auditorium with his/her latest celebrescent.