Wednesday, March 30, 2011

David Suzuki’s Environmentalist War on Perfume


David Suzuki, a former fruit fly geneticist, is now an aging television celebrity thanks to the government-funded largess of the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation (where he hosts The Nature of Things). Suzuki is a standard-issue environmental scold. Lately he has trumpeted his harangues from the ramparts of the modestly named David Suzuki Foundation.

Suzuki is also an environmental hypocrite of Al Gore proportions. While he lectures the rest of us on the importance of sustainability he owns a big second home on a large property in a pricey area of Vancouver. He has not one, not two, not three, not four, but five children. During a recent speaking tour, his large diesel bus was left idling during his lectures.

And then there are the little touches: behaving like a douchebag at his own book signings and calling for the jailing of politicians who don’t toe his particular line of climate science. David Suzuki’s smug self-satisfaction did not develop late in life; here is a video of him preening before a bunch of adoring undergraduates in the 1960s. They love it when he compares humans to maggots—wow, man, that’s like, so deep.

How does Suzuki light up our radar here at FirstNerve? Certainly not through his knowledge of smell and odor perception. You Are the Earth: Know the Planet So You Can Make It Better, is a book for elementary school kids that Suzuki co-authored with Kathy Vanderlinden. On page 16 we find this gem of misinformation:
“As the air rushes along the nasal chamber, getting warmed and moistened, it passes the olfactory bulb. This area sends messages to the brain about the odor of the air coming in.
The only way air rushes past your olfactory bulb is if the base of your skull is fractured and your brain is exposed. If Dr. Suzuki doesn’t understand the basic anatomy of olfaction, how far can we trust him on any other smelly topic?

Two weeks ago we were treated to another bit of his patented finger-wagging: an editorial titled "Has your workplace gone fragrance-free yet?" In it, Suzuki and one of his foundation’s
dronescommunication specialists blamed everything from sneezing to cancer on fragrance chemicals—not one of which do they bother to mention by name. (Smear much?)

This latest eco-alarmism is a follow up to last October’s “news story” carried by Suzuki’s ever-obliging enablers at the Canadian Broadcasting Corporation: “David Suzuki targets ‘dirty dozen’ toxic ingredients”.

The “news story” is a completely uncritical account of “a chemical survey” conducted by the David Suzuki Foundation. The story quotes from the foundation report, from a foundation spokeswoman, and no one else. The graphic slugged “The Dirty Dozen” is reprinted in full, “courtesy the David Suzuki Foundation.”

You might think a “chemical survey” is carried out by experts in a laboratory with, you know, chemicals. Silly you. The Suzuki survey was conducted online. They posted their “dirty dozen” list—ingredients which the Suzuki Foundation alleges are harmful to humans or “to fish and other wildlife”—and asked people to search for those ingredients in consumer products in their homes. A total of 6,200 people responded with 12,550 products, many of which contained the specified ingredients. All of which proves . . . absolutely fucking nothing.

Suzuki foundation logic runs like this: we think these widely used ingredients are bad; by asking a lot of anonymous people on the internet, we’ve determined that these ingredients are widely used. Therefore they should be banned. Because we think they’re bad.

This is not science. This is not even an argument. This is a seventy-five-year-old man’s tantrum.

David Suzuki is to environmentalism what Hugh Hefner is to sex: a gibbering, dessicated parody kept in the public eye by a compliant media pushing a progressive agenda.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

American Smellscapes: Southwest Florida


Amy Bennett Williams at the News-Press interviews a few locals about the vivid smellscapes of Southwest Florida. My favorite recollection is from long-time resident Jeff McCullers:
“The long-lost smells of downtown Fort Myers when I was a child: fresh popcorn at the Arcade Theater and the Edison ‘Rocking Chair’ Theater, the leafy goodness of the Arcade Cigar Store, the bay rum gushing out of Happy’s Barber Shop, roasted almonds in the old fair exhibit building at Terry Park, and the pungent smell of hay, biddies, rat poison and sweet feed at Futral’s. The crisp tannin and fragrant moss of the Estero River. The heavy, syrupy smell of my grandmother making guava jelly.”
[Biddies is an old term for chickens, esp. hens. Had to look it up . . . –Ed.]

Saturday, March 26, 2011

A Really Crappy Idea for a Fragrance


Fee-fi-fo-fum,
I smell the poop of an Englishman,
Be he artist, or be he fraud,
I’ll use his work to write my blawg.
Based on his portfolio, I suspect English artist Jammie Nicholas is a recent graduate of the Acme Correspondence School of Transgressive Art. He created Surplus, his perfume concept project, last year but it is only now getting attention.

Who knows, it could start a whole new movement.

Thursday, March 24, 2011

Elizabeth Taylor: Sic transit gloria mundi


Elizabeth Taylor had a lot of claims on our attention here at FirstNerve, not least for pioneering the celebrity fragrance market. More poignantly for us, her departure breaks the last great link to the era of Smell-O-Vision. Taylor had only a ten-second long, uncredited, aromatic cameo in The Scent of Mystery, but her stewardship of Mike Todd, Sr.’s estate ensured that the film and Hans Laube’s Smell-O-Vision technology would have their glorious moment in the cinematic sun.

In the West Seattle Herald, Steve Shay hands on an Elizabeth Taylor story from his news photographer father Art, who took this wonderful photo of her at the after-party to the movie’s Chicago premiere in 1960.

Personally, our favorite movie of hers was Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf. But for a full appreciation of Taylor as a woman and actress, read the feisty and insightful Camille Paglia.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

The Emperor’s New Museum



From Thursday's NYT:
Unlike typical perfume displays, which make lavish use of bottles and packaging, this installation . . . will feature only sound and scent
FirstNerve sent its ace team of dumpster divers out to Columbus Circle yesterday and they struck gold. They found a draft copy of the Museum of Arts and Design’s layout for the new perfume display:




They also retrieved the museum’s grant application to the National Endowment for the Arts:




And here is the curator’s detailed proposal for the first exhibit:




Finally, there is this:
Mr. Burr is also planning retrospectives of renowned perfumers’ work
FirstNerve is pleased to give your this sneak peek at the Museum of Arts and Design’s upcoming exhibition schedule.
July 15 to December 6, 2011
Jean-Claude Ellena: The Early Years—Top Notes of Fury

January 8 to April 22, 2012
Jean-Claude Ellena Midstream: The Heart of a Genius

June 1 to September 20, 2012
Jean-Claude Ellena: The Late Work—Drydown is Forever

November 7, 2012 to February 15, 2013
Sillage of a Giant: Creative Perfumery in the Wake of Jean-Claude Ellena

December 12, 2012
Invitation-only book party for publication of
Jean-Claude Ellena: Le catalogue raisonnĂ©, an exhaustive 350-blank-page scratch-and-sniff archive of the Master’s lifetime oeuvre.