Friday, April 10, 2009

The Smellebrity Archives: Britney & K-Fed

We almost felt sorry for Robert Pattinson last week. The poor guy is not fully on board with the daily shampooing and showering thing, being English and all. Then he plays a teen vampire and suddenly everyone’s texting about his ripe pits and he’s on thin ice with his hygiene-conscious pre-teen female fan base.

Buck up, Bobbie! Don’t let the wrinkled nostrils and catty comments get to you. Bigger stars than you have survived the public airing of their BO. According to First Nerve’s Smellebrity Archive, it was just four years ago that Britney Spears and Kevin Federline weathered a similar olfactory image crisis.

On December 10, 2004, The Sun’s showbiz reporter Martel Maxwell wrote:

Britney Spears caused a real stink when her smelly FEET gassed a plane full of people.

Britney, 23, caused a stir as she and hubby Kevin Federline, 26, flew from Los Angeles to New York. The singer, famed for hits like Toxic, blamed the whiff on her shoes.

One passenger fumed: “The smell was unbelievable. One woman had a word with the air hostess, then three or four others complained. She looked pretty embarrassed as she tapped Britney on the shoulder and asked her very politely to put her shoes back on.”

Three months later it was K-Fed’s turn as The Star revealed “Kevin’s Dirty Little Secret.” The tabloid quoted two former girlfriends who said he would often not shower for days at a time and that he didn’t use deodorant. They found someone who sat next to him on a 10-hour nonstop flight from Los Angeles to London who said he wore only a T-shirt and reeked. And he left a lasting impression on a lady at the craps table at Biloxi’s Beau Rivage Resort & Casino:

“He stinks,” says the woman who stood next to him. “His body odor was really terrible. He smelled like he hadn’t showered in a week!”
OK, so this stinky phase was followed by divorce, a custody battle, psychiatric hospitalization, DUI charges, head-shaving, and rehab. Our point, Bobbie, is that Brit’s back on the charts, K-Fed is a solid citizen, and no one’s talking BO anymore. It’s an inspiration to us all.

So how about it, dude: would it really kill you to use a little Old Spice?

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