Friday, June 4, 2010

Hurry, Katie, Before it Wilts!

The Huntington Library and Botanical Gardens in San Marino, California—just down the street from Cal Tech in neighboring Pasadena—is flogging another “corpse flower” event. The Huntington’s Amorphophallus titanum specimen is blooming. Good news for all you ISDP fans in the L.A. Basin: as of 2 p.m. today (Pacific time) “flies had already begun to appear.”

Here at FirstNerve Manor we are sticklers for the correct use of botanical nomenclature; “corpse flower” is a cheap PR-driven rebranding of the rotten-smelling stalk that emerges from this exotic tuber. We prefer to think of it in the literal sense of its Latin name: giant misshapen penis.

We’ve already sent an urgent email to Katie Puckrik, telling her to grab a video camera, hop on the 110, and get up close and personal with this bad boy. It’s film we’d pay money to watch. [Yeah, that’s it. Closer . . . Now sniff it. Sniff it again. Do ya like it? Hunh, do ya? Hey, no touching unless we say so!]


~x~ said...

floralcore snuff with KP as antihero?
you so crayzay!

Avery Gilbert said...



Perfumeshrine said...

I hate being Greek at times like this: "Amorphophallus" from amorphos and phallus, is there any more repulsive mental image than that? And of titanic qualities at that!

I'd love to see Katie tackle this with one of her vids. Other than that, I'm tired of all those corpse-smelling flowers as well. Gives a whole new meaning to being a fly on the wall, doesn't it.

Avery Gilbert said...


The Huntington has abandoned all dignity with this most recent blossoming. They are selling a Stinky Black Short Sleeve Tee Shirt for $19.95; a Stinky Cap for $22.00; and a Stinky Tote Bag for $28.00. (What, no novelty condoms?)

The horticultural geniuses there "self-pollinated" a 1999 bloom and planted the 10 resulting seeds. So we can expect mutant, inbred, malodorous veggie phalli to be popping up with increasing frequency.

The rubes will eventually tire of this. The PR staff will then seek new horizons, like having TWO plants bloom at once (Whose spadix is bigger?). Or maybe a threesome with simultaneous cross-pollination.

I think ~x~ got it right: Floralcore snuff porn is where this is headed.

+ Q Perfume Blog said...

try forgetting fruit in the trunk of your car... or olive oil with truffles...half opened...