Saturday, March 17, 2012

Back on the Radar with Marshall Heyman

Guess where this passage comes from:
When the piece of wood finally hit the ground, Ms. Teigen breathed a sigh of relief. “I’m truly exhausted,” she said. Then she hugged the lumberjacks.
Show of hands: how many guess 50 Shades of Grey?

Well you’re wrong!

Here’s a little more, to help with your second guess.
In fairness, Ms. Teigen had to saw the log in a tight black Herve Leger bandeau dress that accentuated her curves and a pair of 6-inch Prada heels. Not an easy feat, but the danger made it sexier.
Still puzzled? Don’t know what “saw the log” means?

That’s OK. In this context it actually means saw the log. And it’s the central image in an otherwise meandering account of an Old Spice Scent Event by someone we haven’t heard from in a long time—Rupert’s Sad Clown, a.k.a. Marshall Heyman, the WSJ’s resident fluffster and social diarist.

Mr. Heyman mingles with a NY Giants wide receiver, a pair of champion crosscutters, and a SI swimsuit model, but manages to make it sound boring. He also misspells the sponsor’s name as Proctor & Gamble.

This is no longer your father’s WSJ . . .


Nathan Branch said...

I really wish I could go back to not knowing anything at all about "50 Shades of Grey" . . . thanks a lot.

Avery Gilbert said...

Nathan Branch:

Uh-oh. Don't look now, but there's a lot more "mommy porn" headed your way soon.

Katie Puckrik said...

You're so witty, AG.

Avery Gilbert said...

Katie Puckrik:

That was laid on with a trowel, KP.